End of RECOVERY: The sign 02/22/09

The word GOODBYE led scrolled my eye. Just when you thought everything is so damn perfect, just when you thought you have encountered too much pain and problems & nothing can bring you down... everything is just a thought... REALITY is never that, real word is a big surprise, its a trigger waiting to be pulled. GUNSHOT!

I am questioning myself... how can I continue now? My life became so routinary... a planted journal... 2 years of being a ventriloquist puppet. Its about time to regain my skeleton and be able to stand on my own.

I've learned a lot.. but learning stops here.. learning stop when it starts to hurt. I am emotionally wreck, physically tired but I can feel the sudden relief... I am still alive. I am not blaming my misfortune on you, never I consider it is... but to continue with you is what I believe is misfortune, to me and to you. I've seen the sign and I had your permission and acceptance... thank you for letting me borrow your wings before you push me off the clif.

Its ironic that we already have the solution but the formula is missing. I was loved, been taken care of, was never betrayed but deprived. When jealousy is present, heart turns to wood. When there is envy, there is competition. Happiness should not be bounded within two souls but binded souls must be shared with great hope and good foundation of trust. We are too busy finding the key, without us knowing that the door is open.

Nothing of you can help me heal all the wounds, not even a piece so I am begging. This is not easy... this is the hardest decision of my life, the most popular the happiest and the most bleeding one. Maybe the pain that I am feeling now is just a dot on what you are experiencing.. I am SORRY. Like a shout at the top of my lungs. THANK YOU, words that i will not fail to say every passing day, for being a part of my life and for all the memorie shared. I might regret this, but I might regret not doing this as well. Someone has to give in, someone needs to sacrifice. Our partnership had to much carbon, Oxygen is what we need.

Nobody Dies a VIRGIN. LIFE & LOVE fuck's us all.

Disclaimer: my words are authentic, but I don't know how far I could sustain it.

MY BIRTHDAY BASH: Checkered & Plaid Party!

There is definitely no other way I would like to celebrate my birthday but the way it turned out! So perfect for me... perfect for the three of us celebrating our birthdays and perfect for everyone who came by list, walk-in or by surprise.

The day changed everyones perspective on Friday the 13th, stereotyped as jinx, dangerous and scary. Its no jinx coz everyone felt so lucky with all the blessings seeing each other (gathering) and the blessing coming from every buckets and bottles. But the day remains dangerous and scary... coz' its raining chimney, its raining booze and the effing sizzling foods.

Its Checkered & Plaid Birthday bash! the theme of the night! And everyone is required to dress-up according to the theme. A small effort that we (the celebrants) were asking to build an extra special accent on our very special day. It turned out so pretty, as everyone came in at their best check's & plaid get up, some are worry free, some bought (mall/ Ukay-ukay) and the girls sourced-out from their dad's closet plus their giant belts. Effort appriciated and thanks to EMG! (Events Machine Group/ http://eventsmachine.multiply.com/) for the wonderful set up, creative ideas and for impossing great rules. You rock!

At one glance, you can definitely identify who are who, the guests that belongs to our party! We are like human chess boards partying to death. Not a claim but with confirmation that everyone went home satisfied. The alcohol is unbeatable, the food cramps our throat, cigar's everywhere, our delectable cake that made everyone do their thumbs up plus we gain friends that night.

This is certainly a celebration I will never forget. A well celebrated birthday and a good welcome to valentines day. Check my album... let our pictures speaks for itself.

MY PET HISTORY: tracing the trail

I am watching discovery channel, when a guy host metioned that "a person who loves & knows how to take good care of their pets well, is a good lover/partner." There you have it! Discovery host turned Joe D' Mango... His lines were striking. It hit me. I don't want to claim that the phrase is authentic, but one things for sure... I am involved... and I can't wait to figure it out.

Before I even disect what the jungle man who talks love was saying... Let me give you some trace on my Pet history (w/c I want to trace as well), so you won't think that I am a self aclaimed pet lover. Ow! I am no designer..

When I was 2 years old, I have a puppy that we named "Puppy", the ironic factor naming a dog like that is when he is already aging.. we still call him puppy... so never name you dog like that, its nice at first but awkward in the long run. Puppy is an ordinary philippine dog.. alright.. minus the euphemism .. ASKAL (Lolz).. with a mix of japanese spitz. He is a big, adorable, furry dog, bage in color. I so miss him.

After Puppy, we had several dog's... comes snoopy (mix breed) and taylor (my brothers chuwawa), I love them but I never had much attachment to them, for one particular reason, they are not mine.

It was year 1993 when I lost Puppy. I was sad and it was traumatic, I was 6 that time.

After that, I changed direction... Hydro pets. Fish catched my attention, I had tons of them. That is where my allowance goes, in a petshop near school, it was like dota or counter strike to me at that time. I am thinking if computer shops were banned 50 meters from school, I think they have to the same thing with petshops, animals can be addictive as well. hahaha.

There is a pleasure going home with a plastic of half oxygen, half water & with fish on it, as I arrived home, I went straight to my 75 gallon aquarium, and can't wait for other fish to meet their new friend & soon to be enemy. Fish foods are like candy to me... I rather buy some of that and an additional decoration to my aquarium rather than to buy a stick of chupachups or a bottle of yakult for myself. Yes, when I was in elementary, I am very skinny.


If im not mistaken, Lizard became my favorite as well. the Iguana and this water lizard with orange spots.. I can't remember what is it called. I can't even remember a good story with my lizard experience. hahahaha. Amazing but very boring pets.

My fathers love birds died, it was sad... but I was happy, because I can now accomodate a pet that I badly want, a HAMSTER! The birds cage is now empty, we have now a space where I can locate my dream rat.. a furry rat... a cute one. Guinea pig is expensive... the one with a rapunzle like hair, so hamster is definitely my choice since I can afford it too.

After all those amazing experience of wonderful pets, I found myself still searching... when I decided to go back to dog's. When my world got filled with spots, I named my dalmatian Dog "MISSY". Dalmatians are adorable, they are very playful.. but my problem with them is they can't read any of my body language unlike my other dogs, they can not distiguish high tone voice to a low tone one.. for them.. it is all the same. The peculiarity of my Missy is, she is a big fan of Squash... to a point that she mistaken every orange thing to a food... including our guests slippers that is color orange. Missy died due to Parbo.

Missy's Parbo disease was very traumatic, there was a time when I have to sleep beside her... and give her medicine every 2 hours, she stinks, so do I. She is half dead but still trying to recover... That was monday, after school.... I haven't got the chance to say goodbye. I arrived home but she is already 6 feet under. I cried.... A lot.

Then comes the most beautiful pet that I ever had, a gift from a family friend who knows im addicted to dogs... My Shitzu, his name is LUCKY. People can't help but say "ang cute.." everytime I took him for a walk, with his t-shirt on. But having a pet with extreme hair like Lucky, grooming is very expensive and needs a lot of time dedication. There was this time, when I have to go to a vet and have him go bald due to his skin disease... seeing himself on the mirror made him so depressed... seriously... maybe he doesn't like what he saw in the mirror, he looks off without a hair. He became very aggitated and snob. September of 2006, he died, with no illness, up to now.. I don't know the cause of his death. Doctor says it might be depression or heart attact.

And at present, Im taking good care of my two lovely dogs. Both are gifts. May of 2007, a cage on my door step with this black hotdog like dog... A dream dog, a german dog.. my Duchshund.. his name is Magic. He is so adorable and very kind.. also intelligent. He is very special to me. He sniffs hard, he catches mouse better than our cats. He shares his dogfood to our cat... and sleeps with our cat. He is an animal who never harms another animal regardles the kind. And my mix breed dog, a combination of Labrador and Basset... imagine that? a huggable, furry short dog.. I named her Russia. A very playful dog, guilty of Glutony, and loves to bite slippers... but not anymore, she fears my high tone voice, she knows when Im mad and she hate it... she is so big that she can't hide under chairs.. she hates it, but she does not avoid me getting mad. This is one hard headed dog but lovely.

There! there's the trace... I mean, I think I am really qualified. :)

Deciding to own a pet is never just a craze, to me, its a commitment... and maybe that is what the discovery dude with a love tongue was saying, there is indeed a lesson we could learn from owning a pet... a dog perhaps... more than the benefit of companionship, we are thought how to be responsible... saving for his/her dogfood, alloting time for his/her walk, leaving the kaartehan behind during his/her bath.. etc. I think I've been a very good Daddy to all my pets. Was I able to apply it in the so called Love (mushy.. damn!)? I dont know... but I love to figure it out... but I think only my other halve's could tell.. now tell me. Was/Am I a good lover? hahahahaha. Just text me. not here.

THE END

Chef 101: Mr. Funanimous Chicken Garlic Pesto w/ Mushroom Pasta

I am no self-aclaimed chef.. I am a frustraited one. If I have nothing to do at home, kitchen has always been my gaming area. Like in life, I am a certified scientist, I love experimenting... and one of the very successful lifetime experiments are those of my kitchen performances.

My taste bud never run out of urge for Pasta, its always a crave. Talking about innovation, pasta has always been a good guinea pig, its fun to play around with spices and ingredients on pasta.
From the name itself, we are not going to make a red sauce pasta, nor the white one but we are going to make an oil based pasta. Much of introduction, let me intoduce you to my very own...

MR. FUNANIMOUS CHICKEN GARLIC PESTO w/ MUSHROOM PASTA

We will be needing the following:

3 cloves garlic (Chopped to the max)
1/2 cup of (Chopped to the highest level) fresh Basil Leaves
1/2 kilo filet chicken, cut in bite size
1 Tablespoon full of ground pepper
Rose Mary (I am using Mc Cormic)
Salt
Canned mushroom chopped in bite size
1 small onion (minced)
Maggie Magic Sarap (1 sachet)
1 kilo pasta of your choice (cooked according to the instruction)
1 cup of Virgin Olive oil

I am no measure concious type of cook, I never measure, but I gave you a great approximation of the ingredients, so trust me on that one.

To start, cook the 1 kilo pasta according the the instruction. (Make sure that you are done with the pasta before your oil sauce gets done, since we are going to toss the pasta as the final step.)
Get a pan, a non-stick pan would be the best option, make sure that the pan you are going to use can hold the 1 kilo pasta you are going to toss on your oil sauce later on. Pour a bit of olive oil in the pan, then when it's already hot, toss in a table spoon chopped garlic and the minced chopped onion, then the chicken. A bit of salt then Wait until the chicken turns golden brown, then put in the chopped mushroom for a quick cooking (since mushroom does'nt need much cooking.), when both chicken and mushroom are already done (I can't teach judgement, but you would know if its already cooked, give some taste on it). set it aside on a small plate.

On the same pan, pour the entire olive oil, let it heat then followed by the remaining chopped to the max garlic. Put your stove in a medium high level, you do not want to burn your garlic. Toss in after a minute your 1/2 cup chopped to the highest level fresh basil leaves. (with stress on the FRESH, dried basil or those on containers would not work on this special dish, as to me, I've got my own alive and more than fresh basil plant on a pot. For only 200 pesos that we bought, we never run out of fresh basil leaves. You might want to purchase one too.). Then, add the remaining ground pepper, and the rose mary (Mc Cormic), if the garlic is close to being golden brown bring back the chicken and mushroom that you set aside, some salt and the entire sachet of Maggie Magic Sarap (It works).. Then put in your 1 kilo cooked pasta, toss it until the oil sauce penetrate the every edge of every pasta strip. Then its ready to serve.

Parmesan Cheese is a requirement.

That easy! This Pasta dish will take you around 30 minutes to cook (minus the preparation of ingredients). You might want to try this out. And just in case.. give me feedbacks.